Giving them the other cheek.

It's hard trying to be a good person. Grueling. Painful. You don't have a manual to abide by, or instructions on how to establish peace between another person that hates your guts. Even if you did, they'd probably still hate you despite your efforts.You have to go through the motions on your own, take in the wounds and experience every cut to the heart. Criticisms, judgments, observations, guilt trips-Control. Funny how these people have the greatest control over your lives. No amount of kindness of a reaching of agreements can fix what happened. Doesn't that make you feel like you should go off and kill yourself, hoping the world would end up being better off without you?

As much as my immediate answer to this is a quick "Yes!", that isn't at all why life was given to us. You may not even know yourself. And we may die without knowing why it was important for us to stay in the first place, not having earned awards, titles, wealth, or mundane accomplishments. But your existence, no matter how painful it may be, is important.

The first time I re-met her was approximately 2 months ago in the media center during 6th period. A beautiful, flowery young lady who seemed awfully familiar to me sat behind me. It wasn't until it became obvious I was staring that it hit me. She-Nora-was my 3rd grade buddy when I was in the 6th grade. Having a pretty crappy day, I didn't want to intrude or waste energy to say hello. But I decided that I should. So I did. I told Nora I remembered her from elementary school and she greeted me back with a smile. I hugged her and told her what a beautiful girl she'd grown up to be. Simple, short, sweet.

Fast-forward 2 months. I look at my inbox and I read a message from a Nora Leavey. It read something like "Savannah, I am so thankful you came into my life when you did. I was having a bad day when you re-met me again and just your simple hello made me realize how important it is to be kind to everyone."
I finished reading her message the same time my heart filled with joy. A simple hello. Made her feel...priceless and wanted.

If I had to leave this earth with something, it had to be that. Perhaps Nora, like I, felt unwanted and useless at times. Perhaps she wanted an escape but my gesture of kindness sparkled happiness and motivation in her once again. Luckily, the faith I have in God -and hers too-keeps us from following through with action and abiding in prayer when we feel this way.

The message I received? No matter the challenges we face with others, whether that be a once close friend or parent, you are important. You matter. Your mistakes to not define you, your kindness and humility do. Be kind and speak soft words, even to the ones that weigh you down. They themselves may be fighting an internal battle that initiated from common beginnings of feeling just like yourself. I know it hurts. Trust me. Rejection and failure is not fun. But emerge as a victor when you treat others with respect, dignity, and grace...because no matter who they are, they're worth it.

We all are.

Just...do.

More than ever, I have had an itch to do something for me. Not in the selfish sort of sense of wanting to gain something profitable. No, it's something so much more. I want to find an inner peace within me, knowledge of who I am and for what purpose. I have long been inspired by my life and with promises and verses and books; I've past my expiration date. It is time for me to discover unselfishly just what and who and for why that...I am. By helping people in 3rd world countries, feeding the homeless, praying with people who have lost all hope, I can then find what I am good at and not so good at, unselfishly. At the same time, it's in workmanship we find the true meaning of life.
Life. That word brings to mind a set list of chores, outlines with dates and times, and especially sticky notes of what I need to get done. I have reached the realization that I just...can't. I can't live to my full potential until I make a promise with myself to just...do. To just commit wholeheartedly to a cause and go. Life isn't a checklist you can scratch away things from. It's a call to action via inspiration.
Despite not knowing what to expect, that's where the adventure sets it. To find you is finding you in all sorts of situations, being helpful in making a difference in the lives of others, and leaving something much more than a reputation and income behind.

I am inspired. I am inspired to actually start doing and ceasing the visions. I am an inspired dreamer, but I want to be a doer. I am inspired to make a difference in my community, heck, in my world one day at a time. I want to find God in the work I'll have serving others.

I think this empty life of checklists, schedules, and packed events has finally taught me something: living is not planned. Living is waking up with a smile on your face knowing today will be another opportunity to make an impact, live your dream, and do what you love.

Trial by error. Lesson learned.